Saturday, May 30, 2009

Note to Self Saturday: Keep your mouth shut!! You WILL jinx yourself...

I want to preface this blog by using the definition of "jinx":Jinx\, n. A person, object, influence, or supernatural being which is supposed to bring bad luck or to cause things to go wrong.

Now - for my story...
Ya know "they" always say - if its too good to be true, it probably is...
Or... if your toddlers being good at a restaurant, you NEVER say it outloud...
you dare even THINK it, because the second you do... expect a meltdown. Or, wow... I sure have gotten the house really clean today - just then, a tornado blows through your living room... and only YOUR living room. Or maybe even, yeah, it sure has been a swell day today right honey? Just then your mother in law calls and announces her surprise visit... for a week... and shes staying your spare bedroom... wow, now thats bad luck... OR, ahem... a jinx... but I had one yesterday that will compete pretty well with that...

I was driving with the boys to Wal-Mart... I had to pick up a few things...
Poly-Fil, Printer Ink, Vaccuum bags... a viberator and some lube, wait what!?
No no... i just made that part up...
that would definitely make the story more interesting though!
Now that your listening... ill continue...
... had to pick up a few things...
while on my way, I was thinking of what I would blog about for...
"Note to Self Saturday"....
and I was totally stumped...
*heres where it all went bad*
I thought - wow... I havn't really done anything stupid this week...
*GASP!*
So I got to wal-mart...
grabbed all my goodies...
(including a $9 eco-friendly toddler potty to keep in the sewing studio for potty training... I recommend one in every room)
I put the potty under the cart and proceeded to the checkout...
They nice lady while giggling with the boys rang me up...
and I put the potty back under the cart.
Just then, I realized I left my wallet in the car in my other bag.
OOPS! Silly me...
So I tell her Ill be right back, she holds my items,
and off I go sprinting towards the door pushing the boys.
While running out of the door the alarm goes off...
*Lets remember... I have hot pink hair, a half sleeve of tattoos... and piercings...*
So the lady stops me and as Im running out, I remember... SHIT! The potty is down there.
I hand it to her, explain I have to get my wallet... etc.
Well, that wasn't good enough... 2 people came over.
Asked for my receipt. I pointed down the isle...
exlained the situation and said, my stuff is down there, I have to get my wallet ill be right back. Walk me out if you want.
Im here to spend over $100, why would I steal a $9 potty chair!!??
Finally they agreed and let me go...
While walking out the door... BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP...
it went off again...
I pulled everything out of my bags... my purse shook out the kids blankets, etc.
At this point, I have a gathering of gawkers... (<--- hehe)
A month ago zaq bought me a pack of tongue rings from walmart...
Well, today - it was setting off the alarm. I dont know why...
ive been there a ton of times since... except for, the jinx...
So I pulled it out, handed it to her...
again... asked wehre my receipt was.
I had no clue... it was a month ago!
Finally after an almost 15 minute process...
the security lady realized that you had to get those out of the case and pay at the jewelry counter... adn they let me go...
I ran out, got my wallet... paid...
and hauled butt home with my VERY crabby babies at that point...

Recap:
15 minute trips can go terribly wrong when mixed with a jinx... always, always wear your jinx cup... (like a nut up, but better)

Note To Self:
When things are going good KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!! You WILL jinx yourself... Dont say it.. dont even think it... just go with it... also, when making a Bee-line to the wal-mart door... be sure your not "stealing" anything...

I Need You: Tell me your funniest, most horrible Jinx that you can remember

4 comments:

  1. Oh my. You really did set yourself up for quite an experience!

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  2. Healthy DistrustMay 30, 2009 at 7:48 PM

    I understand you wanted to be helpful and cooperative, but there is no reason to ever, EVER empty out your purse in a retail store. Employees cannot search your personal property without your permission. This includes your shopping bags, because once you paid for the merchandise, it became yours, not theirs.

    Why anyone would voluntarily let some store greeter or security guard paw through their stuff is beyond me. Most people probably feel obligated to participate or think saying no would make them look guilty. But your whole crazy exit-door dance could have been avoided if you'd have just waved off the employees and said "No, thanks."

    People have to stop thinking of store security alarms as magic shoplifting detectors. They're not. EAS sensors are merely inventory control tools for the merchants and deterrents to would-be thieves. False alarms are common at most stores because security tags affixed to merchandise are sometimes not deactivated at checkout. Magnetic strips on the back of credit/debit cards have even been known to make the alarms sound.

    Don't stores have the right to protect themselves from shoplifters? Of course! Nearly every state has a "merchant's privilege" law allowing store employees to detain customers when they have probable cause to believe they're stealing. Here's the tricky part: Probable cause is an established legal standard that requires hard evidence. Alarms don't give them the right to stop anyone. That's why stores have surveillance cameras and loss prevention employees whose sole job is to watch for shoplifters.

    Bottom line: Next time you're leaving a store and someone asks to see your receipt or look in your bags, remember that you have a choice in the matter. And if your time and dignity is worth much to you, hopefully you'll choose to say no.

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  3. You have been tagged...see my blog!!

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  4. That is horrible! I'm so sorry.

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