Post 5 from the amazing Adam Thurston... LOVING this new segment :) And I know the followers are too!! Thanks, Adam, for sharing with my readers and I... even though we're so far away... it will be like we've been there all along... :) p.s. you can find his blog here... follow him :)
Teaching you to be a Lady while you teach me to be a Dad.
What you’ll teach me.
Hi Madeline. I read a book to your mother’s stomach last night and you rewarded me be kicking exactly where I was holding my hand. I have to say it was actually one of the coolest moments I’ve ever had in my life. You haven’t even drawn breath yet and you’re already making your old man into a softy. Don’t tell anyone, okay? I’ve got a rep to maintain.
So this week I thought we might put a little twist on this series. Thus far I’ve just been passing on general knowledge to you. But a big part of parenting (I’ll wager) is also learning from your kids! “How Daddy?” Why, I’m glad you asked little Maddie! One thing no parent ever wants to see is their child in pain.
See, when I was a kid I rode bikes, skateboards, roller blades and what not. I never wore any protective padding or helmets or any of that crap. Hell, my mom, your grandmother, didn’t make me wear a seatbelt until I was 8 because that was when the grand state of Missouri mandated that it was law. As far as the afore mentioned mobile habits, I got hurt. A lot. And what I did was pick myself up , dust myself off, and do it again and again until I didn’t get hurt. All that was expected from us kids was to be in when the street lights came on and to not hurt ourselves too badly. Nowadays most parents are so scared of their kids possible getting a bloody elbow that they (the parents) wrap their kids in bubble wrap and put those stupid wrist leashes on them as if they were pets. I think it’s over reactive and I’ll go a step further; I think it’s irresponsible parenting. I’ve always liked the bit from Lewis C.K. where he says something like “I’ve gotta take care of you! They took your footprint at the hospital and gave you a Social Security card! You’re on the grid motherf*cker! They’ll come for me if something happens to you!” For better or worse, I think that’s what most parents think. To me it says, I’m afraid that if you get hurt, other people will think it’s my fault and/or I‘ll feel bad.. I say a kid that isn’t covered in dirt and with a couple of Band-Aids hasn’t been being a kid. A kid going out and playing by themselves or with friends is an important and vital part of growing up and I’m not going to deny that to you. I’ll trust you because I’ll have already taught you some important basics. Such as:
Learn to walk before you run! This is an old adage I heard a long time ago and it’s stuck with me ever since. I love it because it applies to so much in life. Learn to walk before you run. Learn to climb before you jump. Learn to ride on four wheels before you attempt two. I suppose the point is to just pace yourself. That way you’ll seldom place yourself in over your head.
Don’t talk to strangers. (Soon we’ll devote a whole blog to that and I’ll tell you my near-abduction story from when I was a kid.)
Play in groups or be in as public of a place as possible. I’ll also explain the obvious yet necessary importance of this in the afore mentioned upcoming blog.
Back to the blog topic, I suppose the point is that you’ll be teaching me to relax a little and not be so tense about your safety. Now don’t get me wrong. Parents are generally always committed to the safety of their kids and I am no different. I’m just going to not try and take it overboard. Nor does this mean I’m going to let you run around with scissors or manhandle firearms. Just that I’m going to be constantly teaching you about situations and/or actions and then letting you take your own first steps towards them. And as stated on previous posts, I’ll always be there to catch you when you fall. Should you fall and I’m not there to see it, come home and I’ll kiss the booboo, apply a Band-Aid and, if you want, send you on your way for more adventures.
If we look at the subtitle to the blog, it is “Teaching you to be a Lady while you teach me to be a Dad.” I suppose I’ll have to learn to live with another “Lady” in the house. The other lady of course being your mother. But your mother is my peer. She’s also used to my sarcasm and unique form of wit which mainly means I make her roll her eyes and smile several times a day. But you aren’t going to grasp sarcasm and unique wit for quite some time. This means I have to relearn how to speak. I need to be a male role model for you after all. I’ll need to learn a new form of patience. Whether you mean to or not, you will test me in ways I’ve never experienced. I imagine the main thing I’ll learn from you is the afore mentioned patience. I tend to be somewhat reactionary and just want to fix problems as they happen. The thing is, you’ll have to learn to fix things too. So as soon as I’m done learning it, I’ll teach you patience. I’ll even loan you my Cliff notes. See, we’re in this whole thing together. Father/daughter. We’re both in uncharted territory for each other. But I’ll steer us to safety. I don’t have a map but I can see the lighthouse. A wise man once told me that being an adult doesn’t necessarily mean that you know the answer to everything. It just means that you have to make the best decision that you can. That thought used to scare me. It doesn’t scare me as much anymore. As I raise you and you temper me, I’ll know more and then be in a better position to make better decisions. This in turn will help me to teach you to make better decisions. Which means together you and I will hopefully be two pretty smart people. So that’s the plan, Maddie. We’ll get there together.
I love you, Maddie.
Uncle Adam - this one got to me... everyone knows i have no father/daughter relationship aside from the once a month, "how ya doing? love you." text... and every post I read makes me more and more excited for Ms. Maddie to get here. Shes got a great daddy already... keep up the great parenting. Your miles ahead of MANY other "dads" out there... i knew you'd be great...