Hey guys! Welcome to a new segment called Mentoring Mondays... I was talking to one of my best buds adam the other night... thinking about how he MUST do a Swinger Sunday for me since he is such a great writer... but that turned into more and next thing we knew we were planning a weekly segment on my wide open Monday... ALLL about Adam's journey through fatherhood. And who knows, maybe we will even get Aymee to share a week or two! I love you both SO much and little Maddie too... thanks for sharing with my readers and I... even though we're so far away... it will be like we've been there all along... :) p.s. you can find his blog here... follow him :)
Teaching you to be a lady while you teach me to be a dad.
I’m your dad.
Hi Madeline. You don’t know me. Hell, you don’t even know your own name. (BTW it’s Madeline.) But I’m your dad and by rights, in four and a half months I’ll be one of the two biggest influences in your life. While I may just be “daddy” to you, that title means I’ll be engaged in a 24/7 job of raising you and somehow having to make it look seamless and effortless. Don’t get me wrong; I welcome the challenge and the most rewarding part will be watching you grow from a helpless baby into an intelligent and confident woman.
There’s so many things I want to show you and tell you. I suppose I have all of your life and the rest of mine to show and tell but let’s get two biggies up front. These aren’t rules for you. Those will come plenty soon enough. Rather, these are constant variables. Just like a science experiment. I know you don’t know what science is yet but just bear with your old man for a sec.
Constant One: I’ll always love you.
The unconditional love between a parent and their child is the most pure emotion in the world. The reason why is that both parent and child start with clean slates towards each other. I haven’t wronged you and, until your first loaded diaper, you haven’t wronged me. And even the whole diaper thing isn’t really your fault. I, along with your mother…and I suppose by proxy, the doctor, will be the first people you meet. And essentially for your early years, I and your mother will be the only people you’ll know. I’ll feed you and read you books and make funny faces just to make you laugh. I’ll rock you to sleep and sing you songs. As you get bigger I’ll buy you a bike and teach you to ride it. When you get even older I’ll teach you to drive. As these events unfold, you’re bound to make mistakes. And that’s okay, Maddie. Everyone makes mistakes. My job as a parent is to help you learn from them. You’ll leave your bike out and I’ll tell you to bring it in. And if you take after your mother’s driving habits, you’re probably going to get in a car accident or three and I’ll tell you to pay more attention. And you’re likely to think ill of me during these moments but they only exist because I love you and know that you can learn from what happened. Through it all, I’ll always love you and I’ll always be your dad.
Constant Two: You can come to me for anything.
And when I say “anything,” I mean ANYTHING. I will always listen to you. While you’re a baby I’ll happily listen to you babble. When you get older, feel free to come to me so we can converse about Big Bird or Yo Gabba Gabba or anything at all that your beautiful mind wants to talk about. I’m always your ear. Full disclosure: the secondary reasoning for this whole “come talk to me” stuff is for when you’re a teenager. Things can get pretty hairy in your teens, and I’m not just talking about your body. (Any excess body hair you might experience is all my fault. Sorry kiddo.) You and your friends/boyfriends/girlfriends are going to be turning into adults. Your hormones and emotions will be going bat-shit and you’re going to often feel like a pinball bouncing around all corners of a pinball machine. Sucky as it is, it’s all normal. “What,” you ask? “This is normal?! This sucks!” Yeah Maddie I know it sucks. That’s why I’m here. To help keep BS to a minimum and to help you stay your course. And I’ll never ever tell you “Because I said so.”
Constant Three: I’ll never ever say “Because I told you so!”
I mean, let’s face it. It’s a weak come-back. It says “I don’t have a good reason for saying ‘no.’ I just don’t want you to do whatever it is you‘re about to do.” If I do or don’t want you to do something, I will always give you a valid reason why or why not. This is so I can always treat you as someone who has the ability to make their own decision about something. Now I may not always agree with your decision and may try to direct you to more harmonious endeavors, as I stated above, part of parenting is helping you learn from mistakes. That said, I’m not going to let you play a game of Russian Roulette. Why? Not because I told you so. Because I would’ve already told you that Russian Roulette is a very dangerous game where the best you can hope for is to still be alive afterwards and the worst that can happen is that you’ll share a death amongst all Arkansas rednecks; one that starts with the sentence “Hey y’all! Watch this!” Bottom line is: I’ll always give you a reason for my decision.
Well Madeline, that about does it for your dad. We have plenty of time to go over this stuff again and this isn’t a test. This is your life. I’m committed to seeing it be a great one. I’ll always be here for you. I haven’t even met you yet and you’re the love of my life. I love you Maddie.