Pouty Pants Rants...

So - this is a blog... and with ALLL of the giveaway crazyness almost coming to a close, i think its time a start really blogging again... lots of stuff all built up in the old noggin just begging to be vented... So here we go... I think bullet points will do nicely...

• Sometimes my husband makes me street rat crazy... our views on parenting are so different 80% of the time that it makes us argue... and were both stubborn... maybe someday we will swallow our pride and start learning from each other.
• I love him more than anything and couldn't imagine being a parent with anyone else... he's an AMAZING daddy... and an even more amazing husband. "Let settle this once and for all... your my one and only, you finish my story... crowned king & kind of this broken world... your kingdom is mine...."
• I love blogging to the world...
• I hate being judged because of it...

• I have an obsession with Hard Apple Cider (beer) i wish it came in a n/a version so i could drink it all day long, lol
• I find much more fulfillment in buying things for other people than buying for myself... 
• I love doing things to make people smile. Be it a plane ticket to visit... A couple nighties in the mail... or freebies in a package... its all good stuff.
• Some days, the store makes me so insane that I think I would sell it for a bottle of wine and a good book...
• I would be lost without my store... Who needs time to read anyways?
• Social Networking has shown me that "real friends" doesn't mean "in real life"... You all know who you are, and i love you all dearly :)
• Some of my best customers have turned into my best friends... i feel silly when you buy stuff... but I appreciate it more than you know...
• Some times... my kids make me so crazy, i consider shipping them Priority Mail to Brooke... 
• Other days, (like today) they are such perfect little adorable angels that I wonder how the hell it is I got so lucky...
• On Friday, I started to have a miscarriage. I was devastated...
• On Saturday, Hubby came home from work early to "take care of me" I took a nap for the first time in probably 3 years... See bullet #2.
• Today I got a negative pregnancy test... its official... i miscarried... I felt selfish for being so upset... there are so many people out there that can't get pregnant and I have two beautiful boys that love me. 
• Today I took the day off work to show the boys how much I love them too. 
• I am 1 year away from a degree in Psychology w/ a minor in Sociology... 
• Ill probably never finish.
• I LOVE love LOVE to shop.... 
• I hate not having money, lol
• The other day i took over 90 photos of Zaq trying to get Zavery to go potty... it was worth every it to get this ONE perfect shot... *shrug*

• I miss my grandpa.... every... single... day... and I want to get a tattoo of his senior portrait so i can see him... every... single... day.......
• I have over 50 glittersniffer eyeshadows... half of them i dont even use... i need more. ;)
• I envy the fact that Kyle from Barley & Birch has employees...
• I feel bad that Kyle has employees... Im totally obsessive and crazy like she is... and she would probably be less stressed if she did it all on her own... lol
• I feel the need to help everyone I come across... sometimes this puts me in a bad position... and usually, i don't care...
• I hate that I have been gone from MPLS for so long... that by the time I see Aymee again she will have gone from not pregnant, to pregnant, to holding a baby girl. This is way too long... and i have a heavy heart for the fact i want get to feel Maddie kick from inside her big 'ol pregnant belly... I love you Mimi...
• I am secretly in love with the Hannah Montana movie, and get excited when the kids want to watch it... shhhhh PLEASE dont tell. It will ruin my reputation forever.
• I dont tell my mom that I love her enough... mom, i love you.
• I would do pretty much anything to have my old jeep Cherokee back... that "pretty much anything" does not include waiting to have another baby... so I guess I will wait on the jeep.
• Sometimes I wonder why it is my husband still loves me... i'm damaged goods... but still, he loves me anyways. 
• Before I married zaq, we had two kids together. People judged me in the store for my tattoos, piercings, hot pink mohawk, being very young and no ring assuming I was a piece of crap trashy mother... what they didn't know is my "boyfriend" made great money, I was a SAHM/WAHM with a beautiful 4 bedroom house in the suburbs. Don't judge a book by its cover.
• This blog has gone on way too long...
• I could go on for forever... 

So there we have it... my pouty pants rants for the day... its been a crazy and emotionally draining 5 days... yet somehow, my hubby & kids and given me plenty of reasons and ways to smile... thanks for that.... "I can't be me without you," baby... and to all of you who have sent you "sticky baby dust" and your "healing dust" I appreciate it... Lets hope this next round goes better... and that 10 months from now I will be holding a beautiful, healthy baby girl... *cough* or boy of course... ;)