Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Annnnd.... im a jerk :(

Nothing better to finish off a crappy day than making a 4 year old cry... :( Today the boys were horrible. Screaming, yelling, fighting, hitting, pushing, running... just being terrible to each other... for 10 hours i put up with chaos today while trying to cook, clean, & work... and throw any idea at them to keep them entertained... nothing worked... finally around 6 tonight I made some dinner... which was quickly followed with toddler tantrums. Apparently I didn't make the right food choices. *mommy fail, again...* I had finally bribed them into eating all their dinner in order to get a cookie... *mommy win!* Sugar buzz... {head/desk} *mommy fail, AGAIN* Just as I was starting to lose all hope in salvaging any of this day, Nightmare Before Christmas came on... they plopped their little butts on the couch and sat like statues... YAY!! When the movie was over, it was time for bed... this part was going surprisingly better than I had expected... until I opened my mouth of course...  now let me give you a little back story... When I was a kid I had a bad habit of licking my lips.. and i got a horrible red ring around my mouth... it was so bad, and beyond looks, it always hurt! But... it was a habit i couldn't break until my mom put some gross lotion stuff on them the doctor gave her... Now, of all my crappy habits, of course this is the one IzzaQ picks up...

day after day his perfect little lips get a little more red... I try to stop him when I see it, and I always am lubin' him up with Aveeno chapstick... Well tonight I did the usual... tucked him in, kissed him goodnight.... and said "oooh baby, your lips look sore & red! Lets put on some chapstick, you don't want to look like a Clown do you?" And all Hell broke loose... histerical IzzaQ: MOM! You hurt my feelings!! I dont want to be a clown!! Then I will scare you away forever!! Me: Oh no honey, I dont want you to be a clown either, im sorry... I just dont want you to have owie lips. {holding back tears} this went back and forth for a good 10 minutes... he kept hugging me and hugging me... I really hurt is feelings and I didnt mean to... I felt SO SO bad. My poor baby :(

Its crazy though... hes growing up so fast... 6 months ago I could have said something like that and he probably would have giggled and made a silly clown face... but now - he takes things like that personally... when did this happen!? When did my little baby boy turn into such a mini man? I dunno... but Im sure not ready for it...

7 comments:

  1. i used to lick my lips. i couldn't pay attention in school they hurt so badly. it was awful.

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  2. i suppose i should also say that it's sweet that he cares so much that he doesn't worry that he'll look awful and hurt, he cares that you'll be too scared to cuddle him. sweet boy, even when he's being difficult.

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  3. i agree with slee's second comment- that fact should show you what an amazing little person he already is- and for that, mommy, you get full credit. mommy WIN.

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  4. :( Very sorry you had a bad day. best advice is that all of us will mess our children up...there is no way to avoid it. That being said, as much as you may want to give your children a perfect, sunny childhood in reality that would make them terribly unprepared for the real world. (Not to say you shouldn't try, you just shouldn't beat your self up about it...) The most messed up people I have met in my life are the ones who think their childhood was "perfect". Point is, give what you are able, but forgive yourself. You really sound like a very good mommy.

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  5. =( Sorry about the no good, very bad day....just remember, you only hurt his feelings b/c he truely loves you so very much and takes what you say & feel about him to heart because you are the most important thing in the world to him. Just be thankful you dont have a house full of hormonal girls...I can ask one of them to go brush their hair and it cues a meltdown! Literally! Just the simple fact that he cares about you that much makes it a mommy WIN =)

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad day Amber, but you are an awesome mama, and I'm sure that even if Izzaq felt hurt, it was cause he doesn't want his momma to not love him as she does!

    Being a parent is tough, very tough job, but you are doing great, keep that in mind always!

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  7. Awww, that's just the worst feeling in the world to feel like you broke your child's heart... Only, you didn't. So sweet that he was worried about YOU being afraid of him. He sounds like quite the intelligent, sensitive little guy. Nothing wrong with that. You sound like a great mommy, we all have our moments of doubt, but in the end, everything works out just fine. Sounds like your little one adores you. Says TONS about you as a mother. :)

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