Sunday, December 12, 2010

Swinger Sunday: Self- Destructive - the thick and thin of it

Getting back to Swinger Sundays!! Meet the mama behind "My D Cup Vs. Gravity". Leave her some love and stop by and follow her blog!

So, one of my biggest problems with being a bigger girl now is that one upon a time I was extremely thin. I have to remind myself that I was thin because I was not being good to my body. I had "outside" forces that were eating me alive, and my diet consisted of lucky charms, taco bell, and those two for a dollar cookies from the gas station. This went on for nearly ten years. Then, I got pregnant. I stopped using and picked up a fork. Or a fork-lift rather! I gained eighty pounds in nine months and didn't attempt to shed any after the baby was born.

With second baby, I did lose weight. I was on the cusp of having diabetes and that scared the hell out of me. I walked an hour every night in the winter storms, determined to have a healthy baby and an easier delivery. I was measuring out 1/4 cups of pasta for dinner, and writing down all of my carbohydrates. It worked. After delivery, I was fifteen pounds lighter than when I got pregnant.

But here we are now. Baby is six months and I have stopped losing weight. I am not walking so much and constantly feel hungry. I eat a spinach and hard-boiled egg for lunch so that I can eat gobs of peanut butter out of the jar.

I am still self-destructive, only now these are legal activities. What is the drive behind all of this? I have an addictive personality, whether it be drugs or chocolate. I think I need to work on this before I start hopping on the scale.

Amber here: Great post!! I think we all have these bad habits... I defintely have an addictive personality, and im sure there are lots of you out there that battle similar issues. We would love to hear your feedback on the issue!

2 comments:

  1. I agree, we all have some addictive habits, one way or the other... I do too, but always try to keep it under control, and when it gets a bit out of control, I revert to my safe addiction, reading... may seem silly, but I can get so absorbed in a book that I won't do anything else for hours till I'm done, luckily I read fast!

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  2. I recently became addicted to Dr. Pepper. It was the only thing that kept me awake enough to chase after my toddler and still have energy to cook dinner and wash laundry. Every time I drink it, my gut gets super pissed off. But I just can't help myself...

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