Friday, November 04, 2011

The beautiful natural birth story... or something like that.

Looking back - Im pretty sure the only thing natural about my birthing experience was that I had no pain management... no drugs... no tub... I did however get some ice chips... that was nice... and then I threw it up. Beautiful right? *sigh* something like that... 
Before all this Best Buy nonsense happened, we had planned for a totally natural water birth. I had every intention of waiting for the spontaneous labor like the movies... where my water breaks in a crowd full of people... and we have to fight our way to a cab and rush to the hospital... just in time to hop in a warm birthing tub, relax, and bring my baby girl into this world. Ok - maybe thats a little dramatic, but you get the picture. I was in no hurry, and though I was READY for her to be here... I have had pitocin before and wanted nothing to do with that this time around. Well, plans all changed when Zaq was fired and out insurance ended on October 31st. We had to be in and out of the hospital by midnight that night. So to avoid thousands and thousands of dollars in medical bills, we induced on Sunday morning.

Bright and early... well - I think it was still dark... 6:30am I popped out of bed (couldn't sleep that night) to call into the hospital. My midwife was already there and we were clear to be there by 7:30. When we got there, I slipped into my Hot Mama Gown... climbed into the bed... and waited on word from my midwife. Around 10:15 she finally came in... She had been up for about 30 hours at this point she said, and had two other moms delivering the same time as me. Well, I knew pitocin takes a bit so I wasn't worried. She "checked" me... and I was at a 3 and high. Totally different from the 4 and low she had said 3 days before... *discouraged* I asked her if there was any chance we could break my water first before the pitocin because I have a history of going FAST after my water breaks... and she said no... so the nurse came in and started my IV and the dreaded pitocin. *shivers* It started out slow... they upp'd it every 30 minutes... pain was manageable... I did lots of walking, rocking, bouncing on the birthing ball... By 2:00 I was at the max amount of pitocin they can give (remember this for later)... and the nurse said if my contractions didn't start getting closer (4 minutes at that point) that we wouldn't have to have a plan B. I did NOT want a plan B...  At 2:08 my midwife came back in... asked me if I had been checked and I told her that my nurse was waiting for her to come in. She seemed confused... and went ahead and checked. Now keep in mind - when I switched from my regular OB clinic to the midwife I was assured a better experience... and told that a midwife is by my side at all times... keep that in the back of your head for later... At this point, she said I was at a 4 and low - and that if I wanted we could break my water now. I said absolutely. She was going to go take a nap and be refreshed and totally devoted to us... great. So at 2:19pm she broke my water. IMMEDIATELY my contractions went from about an intensity of 34-40 (on those stupid fetal monitors) Up to 80... and they were coming about 2 minutes apart. Naturally - the pain kicked in SO FAST AND HARD that I got to throw up my snack of chips the second some ice chips hit my mouth. Not my finest moment, as Zaq chased after me with my IV so I didn't rip it out. There I was hunched over the bathroom sink as the contractions hit me one after another. Zaq was pushing into my lower back while my nurse tried to help me focus on my breathing. Both we're nice. But lets be real... it came on so fast that I had no prep time... no get focused time... The only thing I could think was holy shit this hurts... and Jen says keep your mouth open... so I did.

After about 15 minutes of this, almost dropping to my knees with every contraction and tears rolling down my cheeks - I looked at Zaq and said there is no way I can do this for HOURS! Its too much... I can't do it... well  - super hubby that he is talked me off the ledge every time I was ready to cave to ANYTHING they would have given me to help... He assured me I could do it... He knew I could do it more that I did... so I kept going... I asked the nurse if I could get into the tub now... and she said wait 15 minutes and we will check you again and see where we are at... in the mean time... to get onto the bed on all fours and rock into a pillow. This helped... though I caught myself looking over at my monitors during an intense contraction... and through tear filled eyes - saw 109 on the scale...

by the time it had gotten down to 50 (where they were pretty intense earlier in the day) it was almost like they weren't even there in comparison. Zaq continued pushing into my back while I contracted... butt in the air, probably not my finest moment... but whatever, it helped. He even started counting down the monitor so I could focus on it going away. And the pillow gave me a nice muffling tool to moan into... all of a sudden... I was sure I could feel her head coming. Assuming it wasn't possible, they had me flip over and check... I was 7 CM... so in under 15 minutes, I had gone from 4 CM to 7CM... They put me back on my knees while she prepped for labor and called my midwife... *who had been gone the whole time* Id say it was about 5-10 minutes, and much more supportive super husband later...  I felt my body taking over... my contractions were coming in waves of 1 minute apart... meaning by the time it was ending, I literally got to take one breath and it started again. I could feel her coming... I had done this before, I knew what was happening and demanded they check me again. When she did, she said wow, you're 10 and she's right there. I wined "but Im supposed to be doing this in the tub" and my sweet nurse said "honey, you're going to do this right here in just a couple pushes." And she was right... they didn't even have time to pull the end of the bed off... they slipped a paper pad underneath me and a couple towels. Pushed my feet up on their hips... and in about 3 or 4 contractions... she was out.
... ... ... 3:08pm ... ... ... 
and that was it... So those of you tuning in hoping to hear about the beautiful water birth... peaceful... empowering... etc... you're at the wrong blog. It was the opposite of everything I wanted.. everything we "planned" for... but I guess thats what I get. We Zrust's aren't very good at planning... we just roll with it.  I ended up with a drug induced labor... intensified 10 fold with pitocin. Going through the most excruciating pain of my entire life... a labor that made Zavery's seem like an uncomfortable doctors visit in comparison... and Izzaq's seem more like a movie maraton at a hotel with my hubby rather than a birth. And I gave birth in the worst position... for pain... and for gravity to help do its job, on my back with my feet up in the air... 
3:10pm... midwife walked in... "Wow, what did I miss?" *crickets* "Everything"... I said.
She pushed on my tummy... delivered the placenta... checked for tears, and headed home for the night. 

Am I complaining? eh, I don't know. It was chaos... it was more that I ever imagined... Max dose of Pitocin? Likely reason... no midwife help with pain? Breathing? Etc? Maybe... but hubby did the best he could. But for now - my baby is here... she is healthy. She is BEAUTIFUL... so for now... right now - that all I care about. And of course I can wear my "natural birth badge" with pride... haha. And hope for all the other natural births out there, that their experience is much more calm and peaceful than mine ;) But, sk me again when we get a giant bill from the Midwives office... for a delivery that she didn't deliver... then there may be a few phonecalls to be had. 


  1. Wow what a story!! My labour was horrible so reading this made trust me you labour sounds amazing compared to mine haha!!

  2. Beautiful story! Always expect the unexpected. =) In the end, you have a happy beautiful daughter and it matters most that she is here even if she did not come as planned.

    Enjoy lots of time with her mama, time flies fast (I bet you already know that lol) and I know you work hard to keep your business going too. Some days will be harder than others, but all worth it in the end. Seriously. Spends lots of her. =)


  3. *Spends lots of time with her. (oops hehe)


    <3 BRIE

  5. Not all midwives are created equal, as not all OBs are equal. I'm really sorry your midwife wasn't there for you to help nurture and cultivate the birth you envisioned.

    I've had a hospital birth with a midwife and it was definitely different from my most recent birth center birth with a different midwife!

    Anyway all that is to say that I wouldn't give up on midwifery care all together but maybe find a midwife whose philosophies line up more with yours.

    Baby girl is BEAUTIFUL! You did great. I know you felt "out of control" and that it happened so fast but your body just did the most amazing thing in creation and you DID IT without harmful drugs. Woo hoo!!!!!!!

  6. i'm sorry for all that....but i'm happy that roz is here and you're done with that part! all births can't be the first was the worst......something i will never forget....and my second and last was a dream come just sound like you had yours in the opposite order! great job mama!!!!

  7. This makes me want another baby, hopefully a girl this time and definitely another C-Section. 30 hours for an emergency isn't worth it... so I think I will just schedule next time. :)

  8. Gosh, that woman would hear a lot from me, and I would not pay the midwife's bill.

    your daughter is beautiful! congratulations!

    ps: I love love love your dress. any chance you have a link to where you got it?