Mentoring Monday: Does this make me a Grown Up?

Adam is having a bit of writers block lately so meet Maddies mama, Aymee! (Or in my house known as MiMi... ) She has so graciously stepped up to fill his spot for awhile... Yay! Love you Aymee! Hope your enjoying your baby bash!

What separates the young adults from the full-blown adults? At which point do you cross over? Is the right of passage turning 18? Moving out on your own? Buying your first car (when you buy it, not your parents)? Having a child of your own? When you buy a home?

Age 18 separates minors from legal adults. But as we all know when you’re 18, you’re still just a kid--but with legal responsibility for yourself, the right to vote, and the right to buy cigarettes. I was a mature, responsible 18 year-old, but still a kid nonetheless. When I turned 25, I had one of those “oh my god” moments. I realized I was now a quarter-century old (not saying that’s old, just that it’s a milestone), and that I was in a new age box: no longer 18-24, I was 25-30. “Holy cow!” I said to myself. I reflected on my past, and made decisions about my future. What it this transition that made me a “grown-up?” I have felt like an adult for a little while now; getting married, moving all over the Midwest, paying bills, etc. But I’m about to turn 26 and still don’t feel the term “grown-up” applies. I feel like a twenty-something; a twenty-something with a husband and daughter.  That’s not weird to think about; it’s the “grown-up” part. Grown-ups are those we look to for guidance on how to do this thing appropriately named growing up, mainly because they’re already there. My mom’s a grown-up. My boss is a grown-up. …Or are they?

As a kid, you assume an adult knows all the answers. But it’s so not true! Adam was once told (about parenting) that adults don’t know all the answers. But you take what you know and try to direct your child in what you think is the best direction. We’ve still got no clue what we’re doing! We’re still carefully stepping around in the dark, making decisions about moving forward into the unknown. Only now, there are less people offering to guide us and more people looking to sell us a map, and we are expected to make the “right” decision. Not one of us has had a miraculous transformation from child to grown-up. We’re the same children we were before; only now, we have become more confident with walking around in the dark.

So maybe that’s the answer to my question. Maybe having a kid does make you a grown-up, but we don’t see the transformation from our point of view. Maybe the transformation can only be seen from the eyes of the ones we are now leading: our children.