Monday, September 20, 2010

Mentorying Monday: Baby, Im blue...

Baby, I'm Blue
      Well, it happened. I have the baby blues. At least once a day, something makes me want to cry my eyes out: giving up my cat Daisy because I can't adequately care for her anymore with the new baby; saying bye to the boys, Amber, and Zaq when they were here to visit (before they decided to move back home); listening to “You Are the Best Thing” by Ray LaMontange and dancing with Maddie. Undoubtedly, my drop in hormones after delivery is playing a huge part in this. I read that while pregnant, a woman will produce more estrogen than she will her entire life otherwise. Once pregnancy is over, that estrogen level falls off the proverbial cliff. As a result, your hair falls out in chunks, your skin looks like crap, and you take an emotional roller-coaster ride. Check, check, and…check.
      I gained a little weight from pregnancy, which was to be expected. I mean, we're talking like eight pounds (after baby, fluid, etc.), so I feel guilty even being self-conscious about it. But I still feel two feet tall inside when I'm standing in front of the mirror. Growing up, the only battle I didn't face was weight. I had glasses, braces, acne, bad style, and greasy hair. But I never had to deal with wanting to be thinner (guess the forces that be felt I had enough on my plate). So, now that the glasses make me look smart instead of dorky, the braces are gone, the acne is under control, and I use the right shampoo, I guess it's my turn to go through the body image battle of trying to lose this baby weight. For me, it's not the quantity of pounds, but the size around that I care about. I just want Adam to still be attracted to me, look good naked, and fit into my non-maternity clothes. One down, two to go.
      On that note: yep, still wearing maternity pants. They were bearable while pregnant. I mean, what other option does a girl have when your belly turns the corner before you do? But now that mother and baby are two instead of one, I want that non-elastic waistline like I wanted that Slurpee during my second trimester. Currently, I am able to (literally) squeeze my butt into one pair of pre-pregnancy pants, but can't button or zip them up so I wear them with my belly band. I can't wear them for too long, however, because they cut into my lower stomach. Ouch! Funny what we women will do for fashion. *rolls eyes* Aunt Amber and I have a date to replace my wardrobe when she gets back home. I dream about this every free minute of every day, much like how a child looks forward to Christmas morning.
      I'm also looking forward to our shopping trip because it will be the first bona fide mommy time I will have had baby-free since her birth. I'm on a limited maternity leave, so I want to spend as much time with her as possible. But the flip-side to that is I don't get out much. I'm lucky if I remember to brush my teeth. It leaves me yearning for social interaction outside of our tiny apartment, and dare I wish for some alcohol too? I'm jealous of my husband's “daddy time:” going for a beer after work with friends, working on his book, etc. (To be fair: Adam doesn't get nearly as much “daddy-time” as he needs, or would like to.) My “mommy-time” consists of memorizing the structure of a balance sheet, or as my teacher refers to it: “death by power point.” I love my baby, but I miss my friend now more than ever. Thank god she's moving home.
      Post partum is like one minute you're enjoying the view from the summit you've climbed to and feeling proud of the accomplishment. Then the next minute you blink and find yourself at the bottom of the canyon between that mountain and the one next to it. Not for one minute do I regret getting pregnant, but in a way I am mourning the death of the old me--the individual me--all the while reveling in the joy that is being a parent. Everything I do and say now affects her: directly or indirectly. I am forever a different person.
      Is being a different person the reason I've done things I said I wouldn't do as a parent? For example, using a pacifier before six weeks, or co-sleeping. Have I done them? Yes. How do I feel about that? Mixed. I constantly question whether I'm making the right decision. It doesn't feel wrong, but to not follow the baby book's instructions doesn't make me feel like I'm getting an A+ in parenting either. What I keep coming back to is what I've heard and read many places: you're going to get bombarded with advice on how to rear your child, and it can be confusing and overwhelming. (1) There is nothing wrong with trial and error, and (2) listen to your baby and go with your instincts. I have a feeling I'll be doing that even into her teen years.

Friday, September 17, 2010

FAvorites Friday: Moving!

TOtal craziness around here... between news that #3 is on the way (amazing) and were going back to minneapolis to buy a house (more amazing) and now packing our entire house and catching up the store in aobout 12 days (since we found all this out) Its been nuts as Im sure you can image, so the blog has been kinda stagnant... sorry about that :( But thats for sticking around!!
This weeks favorite friday theme is MOVING! There are so many adorable moving announcements on etsy that I wanted to showcase some of them here... Hopefully we will be having a *new* house warming party as soon as we get settled!!

#1: SweetPrintShop - Modern Swinging Key Moving
#2: inkOBSESSIONdesigns - CHange of Address Moving Cards
#3: PerfectCards - Modern Lamp Moving Announcement
#4: ChrissyWatson - We've Moved Postcard
#5: SimpleSimonPrints - We've Moved Announcements
#6: SweetPeaBaby - Take a Seat new address notice
#7: LittlePaperBoutique - We've Moved New House & Home
#8: SweetCrickenDesign - Preppy Modern US Trivia Moving Cards
#9: AndGuest - Moving Announcement

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Thursdays Tunes - Little Hoodrat Friend

"The says it hurts but its worth it"

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - Baby Booty!

WE love our undies from Small Threads... so sometimes we just have to flaunt that adorable little baby booty!!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Mentoring Monday: Shit Monster

Shit Monster
      Ah, parenthood. I think I can say I've officially arrived. Tonight, Maddie shit her pants…and all over me.
      She let one go, and I congratulated her on her efforts as I usually do. “Nice one!” I laughed. I laugh because they're so loud and rumbling that they startle you. They might startle her too, because she always makes the Cupie doll face afterwards.
      I have heard stories of other parents getting pooped, peed, and projectile vomited on, so I always wait a few minutes after a poop to ensure she's finished her business before I go in to clean up. Ithought I was pretty smart. Well, she apparently found a way around my efforts to make sure I was initiated properly into the inner parent circle.
      Maddie was sitting up, snuggled into a corner I'd made with my chest, arm, and leg. We had been reading a book, so I finished the page and pulled her away from her cozy nook. To my horror, the seedy liquid breast milk stool had exploded up the back of her diaper, defying gravity and soaking the back of her onesie and my pants. Uggh. So, I cleaned her up, then set her in her crib to allow myself a little freedom to clean up myself. After changing pants, I treated all affected textiles with stain remover and washed my hands. My mind replaying the shit monster attack, and feeling like a terrible mother for letting her sit in it for the (literally) 90 seconds it took to finish the story page, I turned the corner into the bedroom.
      To my surprise, there was Maddie in her crib unaffected by the experience. I could tell she was not as traumatized by the shit monster as I was because she was hungry. I could tell she was hungry because she was mouthing her Sing and Sooth Seahorse. Not mouthing it just anywhere, but directly on the nose. It looked like she was planting a passionate kiss on the plush toy. And as quickly as the shit monster had struck to rattle my parenting confidence, it vanished in the joy of being the mom of such a silly, sweet child.
      Thank you Madeline--for reminding me that there will be hiccups and that they are okay. Whatever happens is a trip we will experience together, and being caught off-guard doesn't mean I'm a bad parent. Love, Mom.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - Barley & Birch

Guess what! This week Zavery is in the spotlight for the Barley & Birch Wear It Wednesday! Stop by her post and leave it some lovin!

Monday, September 06, 2010

Mentoring Monday: Welcome to the Family

Welcome to the Family
              Five days after your due date, I had one last checkup appointment with my Obstetrician. We were preparing to induce labor that following Sunday or Monday. At the time of the visit, I hadn’t dilated or effaced any since two weeks before. I left the doctors office with a sense of the end in sight, but still disappointed. This wasn’t how I wanted labor to be. I wanted you to come on your own; I wanted contractions to start naturally; to share the “Is this it?” moment of excitement and panic with your father, timing contractions, calling the doctor and hospital, etc. I wanted the drama that you see in the movies. However, it was beginning to look as though we were to have a lab labor instead: start it all through dripping chemicals into my arm via plastic tubing. I was torn. I was disappointed at the induction prospect, but had an overriding sense of satisfaction knowing one way or another I was going to meet you soon. In one last effort to kick start labor the old fashioned way, your father and I walked laps around the mall. I had spicy Chipotle for lunch, and we had fantastically greasy Five Guys burgers for dinner (not the ideal last meal before labor, but I was calling labor’s bluff). After dinner and Mommy-Daddy time, I went to sleep for the night. Around 11:45 pm, I awoke in pain. My middle felt like it was in a vice. It wasn’t unbearable, but rather just uncomfortable enough to wake me from a deep sleep. I got up, and came out into the living room where Dad was, still up on the computer. “You okay?” he asked.
              “I’m in pain,” I said holding my lower abdomen.
              “Like…labor pain?” We’d had a few false alarms, and he didn’t want to (again) get worked up over nothing.
              “I don’t know.” I couldn’t help but giddily smile through the discomfort. “We should see if we can time them.” And so we did. I was having contractions four and five minutes apart. Eee! The magic number! The hospital had us wait another hour before getting on the road to make sure it wasn’t false labor (it wasn’t). So at 1 am, Dad drove to the hospital, me in the backseat moaning through the contractions and giggling in between. The whole way there, the midnight sky lit up with a beautiful electrical storm stretching from one end of the horizon to the next. It then dawned on us: if this was it, you’d be a Friday the 13th baby (you were).
              We arrived at the hospital. Upon entering the Emergency entrance, I commandeered a wheelchair, and was escorted up to the maternity floor. They checked my vitals: still not dilated or effaced. They escorted me to our room where I began to spend most of my time in the huge maternity tub, soaking in the warm water to ease the pain of contractions. At first, the nurse turned on a soothing CD of Native American flute songs. That quickly morphed into my custom playlist appropriately titled, “Labor? What Labor?” that included such hip-moving, feel-good music as The Temptations, The Jackson 5, and Marvin Gaye.
              The contractions got stronger as the hours wore on. I was dilating about a centimeter an hour, and completely effaced after about three. After six and a half hours, I asked for the epidural. The pain was excruciating, yes. But what made up my mind about getting the epidural, was knowing I didn’t have the energy to muster through the increasing contractions for another few hours and push the baby through when it came time.
              The Anesthesiologist came in and prepped for the epidural. I don’t remember much from that time because I was in so much pain during contractions, and exhausted in between them. I even dozed off a couple times in those few minute sanctuaries. He rapidly explained what he had to do, had me sign the necessary paperwork, and off we went. After the epidural, labor slowed significantly. But thankfully it allowed me to get some rest. After much needed sleep, they started Pitocin and a few hours later I was pushing. When you came out, your father exclaimed, “Babe, there she is!” Then the doctor laid you on my stomach, and I held you while Daddy cut your umbilical cord. You came out blinking your eyes and wobbling your head around; so strong and healthy. You scored high on your Apgar test (8 and 9), and latched on like a breastfeeding proThat’s my girl. 
              Everyone was so impressed with you from the moment you were born. Every nurse wooed over you every chance they got; you were so beautiful from the startI swear they were looking for reasons to come into our room to see you. Dad even got stopped in the hall at the hospital about how precious you were (you still are). You look just like your Dad, which still throws him for a loop. “She’s got my nose!” he said while holding you for the first time. You have just about everything from your old man: nose, mouth, chin, hands. You have my ears and dimples (one side more prominent than the other), and both of our long lashes. Your eyes are blue right now, so I’m interested to see if they stay blue or change. Your hair was dark brown when you were born, but every day it gets a bit lighter, and more and more red. Personality-wise, you’re an easy baby like your Dad was, but a total cuddle-bug like your Mom.
              So that’s how you came to be. We love you so much, and are happy you’re finally here darling. Welcome to the family.

Friday, September 03, 2010

Favorites Friday: Kissable Lips...

My lips are SO dry today... and poor little izzaq is all red and chapped too :( So i am on the hunt for the most awesome etsy lip gear to make these lips Kissable!! ENJOY!

#1: GroovySpookieVille - Baby Dragon Hiccups and Hugs Vegan lip conditioner = $3.99
#2: MrsTattooedGeek - Sun Kissed Sugar Vegan Lip Balm = $3.50
#3: EllaDean - Pirate Grog Smoochalicious Vegan Lip Conditioner = $3.99
#4: BubbleTub - Caramel Apple Pucker Prep Lip Scrub = $6.00
#5: MoLoveRox - Scuffed Up Lip Scrup - Vegan - Your choice of flavor = $3.50
#6: BalmBox - Circus Peanut Lip Balm = $3.00
#7: BLSoaps - Morticia Mineral Lipstick Tube = $9.99
#8: FlourishBathBody - Asian Pear Lip Balm $3.50
#9: SeaWillowHerbs - Lip Balm... Pick three, organic & Herbal = $10.00

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Thursdays Tunes - The Hold Steady: Take me out to the ballgame...

Greatest version of Take me out to the ballgame... ever... by Minneapolis natives "The Hold Steady" love it as much as i do... (oh, and this is the only video i could find of it, lol... but its pretty funny)

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Gone for two whole weeks... DID YOU MISS ME!?

Wow... after an entire day of traveling on two different planes, layovers... tons of baggage... oh and with two toddlers... we are finally home... tomorrow daddy has off to help us settle back into the routine... and Friday is a day with the babies... then Saturday back to the grind... I gotta say - its good to be back in our own place & space... but man do i wish our space was in Minneapolis... were really homesick :( Just trying to make the best of it all...

On a positive note... seeing my family was a blast... it had been a year since I was hope and it was very much needed...
Tom & Jody's wedding was AMAZING... we all had so much fun together... and I met alot of new people that I look forward to hanging with in the future...
We FINALLY got to go to a baseball game at the brand spankin' new Target Field... and in true Izzaq fashion... he was up on the big screen by the 4th inning.
AND i finally got to meet Maddie :) I kissed her and hugged her and squeezed her for all of you...
Now obviously... all of that made it extremely hard to leave... so... Ill be counting the days until i can get home for good... maybe someday.