Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Stockings were hung by the chimney with care

Stocking I made for us :) Pink tattoo for Dixie & I, black tattoo for daddy & natural tattoo for Izzaq & Zavery. I LOVE Them.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Mentoring Monday: As the Kids say... "Epic Fail"

Welcome back, Aymee - to yet another Mentoring Monday post... we love having you :)

As the Kids say: “Epic Fail.”
Dear Maddie,
Let's just start with--it's okay to make a mistake. It's okay to really mess up. And it's okay to fail miserably. The important thing is that you get back up, shake it off, and try again a little wiser. No one likes to lose, and it takes courage to admit they did. It's okay to regret something you've done. As much as feeling regret sucks, it motivates us to keep from making the same mistakes over and over again. It's an important process in growing up and, well…surviving. And isn't that what growing up is: surviving?
I failed miserably last week, quite literally. For the first time in my 26 years, I failed a class. For a life-long hard working student whose never had a GPA below 3.6, this was like getting sucker punched in my nerdy, squishy, post-partum stomach. It would have been expected if I hadn't tried; then I would have deserved it. But all semester-long, I constantly struggled with the class. I worked and worked in hopes of at least passing. But that wasn't in the cards. Instead, I became part of the lower fifty percent of students who take this class: those that fail (that's right, this class has a fifty percent fail-rate).
The weight of disappointment, frustration, sadness, and the desire to lose myself in an alcoholic stupor, all bare down on my back like a boulder. I am now fearful of the coming semester. Not to mention: I have no motivation to work like have in the past, which is a problem because now more than ever do I need to pull up my bootstraps and get to work.
Sure, feeling the shame and guilt from failure suck. Knowing you let someone down because you didn't succeed sucks. The fact that your best wasn't good enough f&*%ing sucks. But that's not the worst of it; do you know what the hardest part of failing is? Not becoming a whiny, sore loser.
Everyone is entitled one pity party--maybe a few more depending on the circumstances. But eventually, you have to dry your tears, stand up and try again. Try again, no matter how much you just want to stay buried under the covers and hide from the sun. You have to do this terribly difficult task because if you don't, nothing will ever get better.
So I will press on next semester, and the one after that, and so on--because I have to set an example for you; because I refuse to just lie down and quit; because it's the only way I'll get to where I'm going.
Love, Mom.

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Note to Self Saturday: Happy "Friggen" New Year.

Is there just something in the air? I mean really... what is going on... maybe its just me but its doesn't seem like a good month for relationships... I have seen/heard from more of my friends that its non stop arguing, bickering, drama.... and I have watched more facebook status' change from "In a Relationship" to "Single" this month than the other way...

  Hubby and I have spent more time either bickering/arguing or being cordial, than being our typical lovey selves, and even that seems forced... and I gotta say - im reaching the end of my tolerance level. We can't have a conversation without drama... every other sentence is taken personally... its getting old. Everyone I ask says theyre doing the same thing... and its just the holidays... but I just don't get it! THE HOLIDAYS!! Its supposed to be the "most wonderful time of the year"... why has it become a nightmare? Im 6 hours away from my family this year... so yes - i was a little homesick...  but I did my best to hide it and put on a big smiley face. Help cook a nice dinner, bake pies, and throw a party for his family... I get that we both have stressful jobs for X-mas time... ZaQ was working 10-12 hour days... 6 days a week... I was working non stop in the store... shipping up to 20 packages 5 days in a row that last week...  it was chaos and I wanted to pull my hair out... we were sleeping terrible, etc. But I was always under the impression that when things get stressful... your partner is there to support you... and you help each other get through it. Right? Or not? I dont know.  Like I said, maybe its just this time of year... we have been in worse ruts thats for sure... and through worse arguments, etc. etc. etc. But for some reason this round is really pulling at the heart strings.  Any of you going through this sort of holiday rut? Any tips to pull out of it? Im thinking I could use a few.