Saturday, February 27, 2010

Try not to cry... Layla Grace...

In the past few days on Facebook I have seen the posts of Layla Grace just flying through the streams... If you dont know about Ms. Layla... here is a quick wrap up... but you should most definitely check out her website for the most info...

Layla Grace:

"Layla has a massive cancerous tumor (Stage 4 Neuroblastoma) in her abdomen. It extends from above her left kidney, around her side, over her belly and wraps around her aorta. In addition, the cancer is in her bone marrow.
Our sweet Layla went from normal happy and healthy to lethargic, in pain, and skin and bones in a matter of a week and a half."

Im all about donating any time I can... so I rushed to the site, found that magical paypal button... and sent some money to help. If you can do the same, PLEASE do... even $1 makes a difference. Anything sent goes towards her mountains of medical bills. Now, this is a sad story in itself... but what really got me was a blog her mom wrote... it hit home SO hard... here is a snapshot... click here to read the rest from her website. Oh, and try not to cry...

"Sleep, Valentines Day and Regrets
Towards the end of a pregnancy, a mother will wake up to go to the bathroom every few hours. I think this is the body’s way of preparing you for a newborn and the sleepless nights that come along with it. Layla now spends most of her days sleeping. 30-45 minutes after she wakes up, she is ready to lay down and sleep again. Is this God’s way of preparing me for all the quiet time that is coming soon? The house is quiet. I am able to go through the motions of laundry, dishes, cooking and picking up without interruptions. But I WANT interruptions. I WANT Layla to be under my feet asking for cookies. I WANT to hear her playing with her toys. I WANT to take 45 minutes to unload the dishwasher because she keeps trying to help. For every time I uttered the words “I just can’t get anything done with these kids under my feet all day” I am eternally regretful. The days that I looked forward to naptime so I could get a grocery list made, or finally fold all the piles of laundry…I regret those days too. If I could do it all again, I’d enjoy EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT I had with her. I would never wish for her to sit still or take a nap or go to bed early. I would never look forward to the days when she could sit through an entire episode of Dora silently. I would treasure every second with her."

This post really got to me... with all the stress of the store... stress of packing... stress of moving... cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and the million other things that have taken a toll on the last month... zaq and i have been a little on edge. Yes, I count the minutes to nap time when i can get some work done uninterrupted... and bed time comes and its such a relief, an hour to lay with my husband, wind down, and talk about our day... and I can't even tell you how horrible that makes me feel. Of course I love my kids... and of course i would die if anything ever happened to them. And all the "free time", lack of stress & money in the world couldn't be traded for either one of them... but yes, sometimes its a hand full.  And like she said... "I am eternally regretful" for all the days I have wished for a little peace & quiet...  


  1. Layla's story has greatly impacted me as well. I remember reading that same post from her blog and trying to get through it because I was crying so hard. As a just CHANGES YOU when you happen upon something like this. Thank you for your post!

  2. Great post and so true. Many days I am counting down the time until Dustyn naps or goes to sleep at night (just so I can have some me time and relaxing time). I am with you on being regretful that I do that. I couldn't even imagine going through what Layla's mom is going through. I have been praying for her and thinking about her whole family since I first read about her on twitter.

  3. Layla's story has really touched me. I am trying to spread the word that I am donating 100% of proceeds from the sales of my fuchsia tutus to Layla's medical expenses. Thanks!

  4. Thank you Amber. And thank you Layla, for reminding me to love my kids more. I too am regretful.

    I am donating all the $ from my next diaper bag order to her medical expenses.

  5. Wow... that is absolutely heartbreaking.
    I had been bidding on the one lot of clothes of yours for Gav but the max I could afford was $45.. I got outbid so I decided that if I could've afforded the money for that clothing lot.. and I was expecting to part with the money anyways, then I could donate that amount to Layla... so I did.

    That is seriously heartbreaking for that poor little girl and her family.

  6. Your all amazing... im so glad that this simple post has already helped them out so much... and helped us mommies too... we all need little reality checks now and then... its sad when it comes from someone elses misfortune... but like her mom said. Ms. Layla has already done so much in her short time... and maybe her job on earth was to impact so many. Well - if so... shes done it well...

    Jen - i have no way to get in touch with you but if you get this, please send me an email... I wanna chat with you for a sec.

  7. Wow...that just made me sob...I can never in a million years imagine being in her shoes. I pray that they find peace for themselves and for Layla.

  8. I want to leave a comment saying I read this, but my heart and my mind won't work together to say what I feel. This makes me think so much. My husband read this too, he has stage 3 cancer right now and says he can't imagine what it must be like at her age. I appreciate every day with my Aedan, I know loss.

  9. Amber, thank you for this. I've been so beyond stressed with my new found condition (long story) on top of school, homeschool and oh yeah...4 kids. But I couldn't imagine not having those stresses. I've gone from sitting here in tears because of my neck and head hurting to being in tears for being so selfish not to think of the big picture and who is truly suffering. This beautiful girl is in pain and doesn't even understand why or what's going on. And here I am dwelling on my pain, which is most likely my fault, but even if it isn't, I understand it. I am so so so sorry to hear this story and as soon as I am able to do so, I will donate to help this precious little angel out!