Fear: Choose Love Not Hate

It's times like this that I find myself stricken with fear.  A family woke up yesterday morning, many families - and spent the afternoon at the Boston marathon... Some of them aren't coming home tonight... Kids woke up and went to school on the day of the sandy hook shooting. A day no different than today when I dropped off my son to do the same. Some of those kids didn't go home that night. This fear - this utter fear that even leaving the house isn't safe anymore... When you freeze up inside just doing normal things people do every day. Going to school, taking the bus, an airplane, or like today, going for a run. Safe things, family friendly events that have turned into nightmares. Today people saw things that I have only imagined in my most horrific dreams. And even that was likely not a comparison for the real events that took place. How can I raise my kids in a world full of such hate and chaos? That fear can't beat me. I can't let it win. Instead it festers inside of me and drives me to be a better parent... A better wife... A better person. It reminds me to ALWAYS kiss my kids before I drop them off for school, before bed, and 100 times in between... To always tell them I love them... Because I never know when it could be my last. It drives me to raise great, confident and independent children that know the difference between right and wrong... Love and hate... I can't control the actions of someone else... But, I can control the way I handle it and I can teach my kids to do the same. Today someone thought it was a good idea to blow up men, women and children. Innocents just watching a race. Maybe a child watching his dad cross the finish line. There is no excuse. It's unacceptable... There is no reason valid enough for this to have happened today. But I won't let it beat me. I won't live in fear... We all deserve better than that... And it starts with our kids. Now a days it seems if you're being bullied, don't agree with someone about their race, religion, sexual orientation, or just need some extra attention the solution is easy... Bring a gun to school... Blow up some random strangers... Fly a plane into a building... You will get all the attention you want and more - spread like wild fire across the media. Or maybe - we could just spend a little more time paying attention in the beginning... Teach our children the difference between right and wrong... Love and hate... And one by one we can make this world a better place.

Zeds Zombie Ranch - Take my Heart

Last week in Canada Jen was showing me something that we both had to get our husbands... I want to be vague because I still need to get it for him... *yes - I will be starting a collection for our mantle* These goodies came form the amazing Zeds Zombie Ranch...

Its full of everything you could "need" in the way of zombie appreciation... from t-shirts, to garden signs... and my personal favorite - the skeletons. While checking out his shop I fell in love... completely. And immediately started choosing all the ones the husband just HAS to have... but with Valentines day right around the corner - I chose the "Take My Heart" skeleton... which ironically, zaq just wrote a song using very similar lyrics! It was perfect... He loved it... I love it... and Ill definitely be back for more... Oh, and PS - AMAZING customer service... I requested one on a Friday - he had it shipped priority mail on Monday and I opened it yesterday. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!

PS- Jason at Zed's Zombie Ranch is offering RockerByeBaby friends 10% off! Coupon code: ZedsRBBFriend at checkout!

"This little lover is holding open it's ribcage and handing it's heart over to you." *Take my heart... but be gentle.*

That moment: Needed.

That moment...
When the baby wakes up from what I assume to be a nightmare - crying the saddest cry with the biggest crocodile tears... and before I could even reach all the way down the crib she was already clung around my neck pulling and climbing herself up... She nuzzled in... she held herself around my neck SO tightly. Sniffled... sighed... and her breathing slowed... her heart stopped pounding so fast. She loosened her grip... We sat down in the rocker that my great grandma rocked my grandpa in... and my grandma rocked my mom in... and my mom rocked me in... and I've rocked my babies in... she drifted off to sleep... every time I even THOUGHT about putting her down she'd take a deep breath like - "don't even think about it mom"... so we rocked... and rocked... and rocked... and I touched... and stared... and kissed... and I missed you... I miss you every day... every day I have to work... every day I run to the store... every day I wake up and you've been sleeping all night... Every day that you've grown and changed from that tiny baby I brought home... and it was That Moment... that I wondered who needed who more?

Am I comforting her? Or is she comforting me? I always say how much I needed her... It wasn't just a want for a girl... I needed one. And even more so - I needed her... There is just something about that girl. The bond that I have with her in indescribable... Not more than the boys of course, just different. Everyone needs a Rozzlyn Marie. But Im the luckiest person on earth because I have her... I feel like she's all the best parts of Zaq and I... She's so funny, and so incredibly smart... and just. so. damn. cute. She melts me daily... literally a mushy - gushy - aweeeeeeeeee... kinda melting. She has my big eyes and lashes... Zaq's big squishy lips. The most perfect little nose... and best buddha belly... *sigh* just perfection. I think back sometimes to the two miscarriages I had before her. What a nightmare that was... and we stopped trying for 6 months because I thought - I can't handle this one more time. It's just too much. Finally at the end of that 6 months I was ready to give it one more go... and I got her... all I wanted was a healthy baby... and instead I got the most amazing, perfect, healthy, beautiful baby girl I could ever imagine. And I can't even begin to think about what I would be missing had I decided it wasn't worth the risk to try again... Everything happens for a reason. Right?

Summer Lovin...

*sings* Summer Lovin'... had me a blast...
What a fun weekend! We spent pretty much the whole day outside...
We did water balloons...
*spent about 20 minutes filling them... and they were gone in 3 minutes*
but it was a blast and worth every second!

*Izzaq - Gracie - Zavery*

Then we pulled out the sprinkler... and the kids spent about an hour chasing Gracie around. They both absolutely adore her... and are convinced every day that she has to choose which Zrust boy she will marry... Im so not ready for this - and am doomed by the time they turn 13.

Ladies First!

Lastly - after almost drowning while trying to drink from the sprinkler... we headed in for the day for a family movie night... what a great day... don't you wish sometimes that real life could be this? Just playing and fun... no worries, no bills, no work... just. summer. lovin'.

Note to Self-Saturday: 10-things...

10-things I love about Zaq :) (my hubby)

Wordless Wednesday: Silly faces

Some of my favorite shots from the other day of the boys making silly faces :)

Mentoring Monday: Two-Week Itch

Mentoring Mondays:

Teaching you to be a Lady while you teach me to be a Dad (post by Adam)

We’re about 2 and half weeks from meeting, Maddie.  I can’t speak for you but I’m nervous and at times, a touch scared.  Nervous because parenting will be the hardest job I’ve ever undertaken.  Scared because there’s little room for error.  I’ve never been afraid of failing and I’m not too much of a perfectionist but the flipside is I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life than as I am about you.  
But I suppose this is where the whole “you mentoring me” bit comes into play.  I imagine how you teach me to be a father will be subtle and on-going and I may not even realize that it’s happening nor will you realize that you’re teaching me anything at all.  And that’s the sweet, subtle beauty of the whole thing, Pitseleh*.  
I suppose the bottom line is I haven’t even seen you and I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my whole life.  Emotions that strong can be very scary because the price of letdown and failure are too high.  Well, I’m not going to worry so much that the fear becomes crippling and forces me into inaction (which is often far worse than making the wrong decision).  Just know that all the bands I’ve been in, all the songs I’ve written, all the shows I’ve played, the best thing I’ve ever created is you.  (Oh okay, your mom helped.)
This one’s a bit short but I’ve said all I need to say for right now.  I’ll let my actions do the talking for me.  I promise to be the best father I can.  Will you mentor me while I mentor you?  I promise we’ll have a good life.

I love you, Maddie.

-Your Dad

* “Pitseleh” is Yiddish for “Little One.”

Favorites Friday: Family & Love.

So... Its been about a week now since I started missing my babies... and I wont see them again until August 19th... still a LONG way to go... but Im sure all you will be appreciative when you see how caught up i get :) And see how much newness gets listed... it will be amazing :) But in the mean time... spending all day home alone when Im used to total choas is making me a little lonely... So this weeks theme... family & Love.

#1: DreamingTreeCreation - I carry your heart pendant
#2: MillyLillyRose - Somer Honey
#3: AsherJasper - Needlefelted Sleepy Mama & Baby
#4: PaperPrayers - Mexed Media Home is where Our Heart is
#5: Opart - Lone Parent 10x8 Signed Print
#6: WrenWillow - Owl Family Organic Onesie
#7: Lara514 - Family Chronicles 10 pages Paper Bag Album
#8: MichelleVerbeeck - Leather Cuff Bracelet
#9: APaperBuffet - Infinite Love

Favorites Friday: Happy Anniversary!

Like I've been rambling about... its my Anniversary this weekend... so even though zaq & I decided on a fun Vegas trip instead of gifts this year... I thought it would still be fun to see what Etsy had to offer :)

(click to zoom)

#1: ChloeandSofiasMom - Love never dies Fine Art Print (totally LOVE this. NEEDS to be in our house)
#2: SkyKoltun - Tough Love Never Quits (Who said showing your love has to be cheesy? This are they coolest necklaces I have ever seen.... might need a set... look at the back it has the date and then - death.)
#3: CozyBlue - Custom Heart Tree Pillow Cover w/ initials
#4: Myadobecottage - LOVE Burlap PIllow Cover (This is so cute... I want one!)
#5: JCJewelryDesign - Hand Stamped Guitar Pick (I got zaq one of these for Christmas a couple years ago... says - I can't be me without you.)
#6: BestArtStudios2 - Heart Print - (love this... always stalked his store, and at 50% off, might be time to buy ;)
#7: FunCards - I LOVE YOU scrabble letters sign (We are Words w/ Friends geeks, lol)
#8: DBK Apparel - NEVER LET GO t-shirt
#9: StoreyShop - I love you more than Etsy card

A year ago today - we were back in illinois running like chickens with our heads cut off... planing for the coolest rocker-chic wedding on earth...

Please dont "steal" this image... it was custom drawn for us by our tattoo artist for our invitations and I have been afraid to post it online for rear of someone stealing it... just don't do it ;) Thanks!

Happy Anniversary Baby...

Wow *wipes brow* Has it really been a year already? With two kids Im sure most of you are thinking, ummm huh? But yes its true, we did things a little backwards... i think the story is supposed to go like this... first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage... our story went something like this... first comes love... then comes a baby in a baby carriage, then stress & fighting, and more love, and another baby, and a little more drama, and a couple cross country moves... and more and more and more love and THENNNN came marriage... I dunno if we just had to put each other trough the ringer first or what... But im glad we did. We got all that first 3 years of marriage crap outta the way before we even started... its just smooth sailing now, lol We know each others dreams & goals... faults & flaws... we have better communication than many couples I know (though were still not perfect, i seem to have a texting while angry issue, lol). We still snuggle in bed and he ALWAYS kisses me goodnight... and every now and then he writes me a sweet little love song... We LOOK FORWARD to spending time together because we want to... and not because we have to... and even after all our ups & downs... I love him more and more every day.  He gave me two handsome little men, (and hopefully someday one more, well - HOPEFULLY a girl, but either will do :)  And I just wanted to announce to the world how lucky I am... I always say Zaq saved me... and i still truly feel that way... so baby, heres to the next year, and the year after that... and about 50 more after that... oh, and *cheers* to a crazy weekend in vegas :) My mommy called me last month to see what our plans were. We had none, and hadn't really considered anything. Well, she mentioned meeting us in Vegas and watching the boys for the weekend... PERFECT! So today (yes two days before, lol) I booked us an awesome room @ The Hard Rock Hotel our favorite spot. I spent way too much, but its totally awesome... next time, plan ahead idiot, when i looked last month it was half that price...  Zaq had mentioned the awesomeness of the Supreme City Suite... he was right, it was awesome.

This 700-square-foot room comes with one king custom mahogany and leather sleigh beds with designer bedding. The room features a dark wood floor in the foyer and carpet in the living space as well as a desk and a digital touch-panel jukebox.

The bath area has a porcelain and marble vanity with Grohe bath fixtures, a Rainhead shower with in-shower seat and a handheld wand, and separate cast iron tubs.

Amenities include: Two 40-inch flat screen TVs, DVD player, wireless internet (for a fee),black out drapes, air conditioning, alarm clock, radio, pay-per-view movies,terry robes, minibar... 

I felt like Big Pimpin' just lookin at it...

 well - thanks to you awesome customers for keeping me so busy I said what the hell and went for it. It was only $40 more than the Paradise Towers room that we had last time.... so it was a good deal. Its a special occasion. And - we already agreed that were not getting "gifts" so why not go a little over board... Now - lets just hope the Hard Rock has some special baby making powers... lol Wish us lots of love & luck... and maybe a $50,000 jackpot would be pretty sweet :) Oh, and since its Thursdays Tunes... here's the song we all walked down the isle to at our wedding... It was oh so fun and perfect... listen to the lyrics... it was really strange when i found this song... I have always been obsessed with wishing at 11:11... I have it tattoo'd... and zaq proposed at 11:11... anyways. im rambling. just listen to it... its cute & cheezy :)

Pouty Pants Rants...

So - this is a blog... and with ALLL of the giveaway crazyness almost coming to a close, i think its time a start really blogging again... lots of stuff all built up in the old noggin just begging to be vented... So here we go... I think bullet points will do nicely...

• Sometimes my husband makes me street rat crazy... our views on parenting are so different 80% of the time that it makes us argue... and were both stubborn... maybe someday we will swallow our pride and start learning from each other.
• I love him more than anything and couldn't imagine being a parent with anyone else... he's an AMAZING daddy... and an even more amazing husband. "Let settle this once and for all... your my one and only, you finish my story... crowned king & kind of this broken world... your kingdom is mine...."
• I love blogging to the world...
• I hate being judged because of it...

• I have an obsession with Hard Apple Cider (beer) i wish it came in a n/a version so i could drink it all day long, lol
• I find much more fulfillment in buying things for other people than buying for myself... 
• I love doing things to make people smile. Be it a plane ticket to visit... A couple nighties in the mail... or freebies in a package... its all good stuff.
• Some days, the store makes me so insane that I think I would sell it for a bottle of wine and a good book...
• I would be lost without my store... Who needs time to read anyways?
• Social Networking has shown me that "real friends" doesn't mean "in real life"... You all know who you are, and i love you all dearly :)
• Some of my best customers have turned into my best friends... i feel silly when you buy stuff... but I appreciate it more than you know...
• Some times... my kids make me so crazy, i consider shipping them Priority Mail to Brooke... 
• Other days, (like today) they are such perfect little adorable angels that I wonder how the hell it is I got so lucky...
• On Friday, I started to have a miscarriage. I was devastated...
• On Saturday, Hubby came home from work early to "take care of me" I took a nap for the first time in probably 3 years... See bullet #2.
• Today I got a negative pregnancy test... its official... i miscarried... I felt selfish for being so upset... there are so many people out there that can't get pregnant and I have two beautiful boys that love me. 
• Today I took the day off work to show the boys how much I love them too. 
• I am 1 year away from a degree in Psychology w/ a minor in Sociology... 
• Ill probably never finish.
• I LOVE love LOVE to shop.... 
• I hate not having money, lol
• The other day i took over 90 photos of Zaq trying to get Zavery to go potty... it was worth every it to get this ONE perfect shot... *shrug*

• I miss my grandpa.... every... single... day... and I want to get a tattoo of his senior portrait so i can see him... every... single... day.......
• I have over 50 glittersniffer eyeshadows... half of them i dont even use... i need more. ;)
• I envy the fact that Kyle from Barley & Birch has employees...
• I feel bad that Kyle has employees... Im totally obsessive and crazy like she is... and she would probably be less stressed if she did it all on her own... lol
• I feel the need to help everyone I come across... sometimes this puts me in a bad position... and usually, i don't care...
• I hate that I have been gone from MPLS for so long... that by the time I see Aymee again she will have gone from not pregnant, to pregnant, to holding a baby girl. This is way too long... and i have a heavy heart for the fact i want get to feel Maddie kick from inside her big 'ol pregnant belly... I love you Mimi...
• I am secretly in love with the Hannah Montana movie, and get excited when the kids want to watch it... shhhhh PLEASE dont tell. It will ruin my reputation forever.
• I dont tell my mom that I love her enough... mom, i love you.
• I would do pretty much anything to have my old jeep Cherokee back... that "pretty much anything" does not include waiting to have another baby... so I guess I will wait on the jeep.
• Sometimes I wonder why it is my husband still loves me... i'm damaged goods... but still, he loves me anyways. 
• Before I married zaq, we had two kids together. People judged me in the store for my tattoos, piercings, hot pink mohawk, being very young and no ring assuming I was a piece of crap trashy mother... what they didn't know is my "boyfriend" made great money, I was a SAHM/WAHM with a beautiful 4 bedroom house in the suburbs. Don't judge a book by its cover.
• This blog has gone on way too long...
• I could go on for forever... 

So there we have it... my pouty pants rants for the day... its been a crazy and emotionally draining 5 days... yet somehow, my hubby & kids and given me plenty of reasons and ways to smile... thanks for that.... "I can't be me without you," baby... and to all of you who have sent you "sticky baby dust" and your "healing dust" I appreciate it... Lets hope this next round goes better... and that 10 months from now I will be holding a beautiful, healthy baby girl... *cough* or boy of course... ;)

Mentoring Monday: Does this make me a Grown Up?

Adam is having a bit of writers block lately so meet Maddies mama, Aymee! (Or in my house known as MiMi... ) She has so graciously stepped up to fill his spot for awhile... Yay! Love you Aymee! Hope your enjoying your baby bash!

What separates the young adults from the full-blown adults? At which point do you cross over? Is the right of passage turning 18? Moving out on your own? Buying your first car (when you buy it, not your parents)? Having a child of your own? When you buy a home?

Age 18 separates minors from legal adults. But as we all know when you’re 18, you’re still just a kid--but with legal responsibility for yourself, the right to vote, and the right to buy cigarettes. I was a mature, responsible 18 year-old, but still a kid nonetheless. When I turned 25, I had one of those “oh my god” moments. I realized I was now a quarter-century old (not saying that’s old, just that it’s a milestone), and that I was in a new age box: no longer 18-24, I was 25-30. “Holy cow!” I said to myself. I reflected on my past, and made decisions about my future. What it this transition that made me a “grown-up?” I have felt like an adult for a little while now; getting married, moving all over the Midwest, paying bills, etc. But I’m about to turn 26 and still don’t feel the term “grown-up” applies. I feel like a twenty-something; a twenty-something with a husband and daughter.  That’s not weird to think about; it’s the “grown-up” part. Grown-ups are those we look to for guidance on how to do this thing appropriately named growing up, mainly because they’re already there. My mom’s a grown-up. My boss is a grown-up. …Or are they?

As a kid, you assume an adult knows all the answers. But it’s so not true! Adam was once told (about parenting) that adults don’t know all the answers. But you take what you know and try to direct your child in what you think is the best direction. We’ve still got no clue what we’re doing! We’re still carefully stepping around in the dark, making decisions about moving forward into the unknown. Only now, there are less people offering to guide us and more people looking to sell us a map, and we are expected to make the “right” decision. Not one of us has had a miraculous transformation from child to grown-up. We’re the same children we were before; only now, we have become more confident with walking around in the dark.

So maybe that’s the answer to my question. Maybe having a kid does make you a grown-up, but we don’t see the transformation from our point of view. Maybe the transformation can only be seen from the eyes of the ones we are now leading: our children.

Thursdays Tunes - I dont love you...

Ugh. I love this song... just love... We all have bad days... this one goes out to you and your broken heart... we all have that little scarred up soft spot that this song fits into... love love love it like i do...





Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way


And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can


When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"


Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay


And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa


When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"


Well come on, come on


When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

Wordless Wednesday - Love...

I never really post pictures of zaq and I... since Im usually gooing over my kids, or everyone elses kids, lol so I thought today would be a good day for that... we were at an Easter party and snapped a quick photo and i just LOVE it... i LOVE the way the sun has just blown it out... its sooo bright... so rad... love it!?

Swinger Sunday - Hardcore mom of four.

Hey guys! Yet another Swinger Sunday... and this week, the beautiful... amazing... hardcore mama of Tout-est-des-roses... read... comment... and love her posts like i do... :) Also... (when you finish here of course... scoot over and read this post... it may be my all time favorite blog post I've ever written. I keep it bookmarked in my toolbar. It was a huge inspiration to me and really helped me make some big changes in parenting and inspired our creative play Christmas... 

My name is Sara Sophia.
I have four children and I home-school, parent naturally and wear fairy wings while I garden.
I believe in being happy wherever you can, and with whatever you have--be that little or much.
I believe moments spent increasing faith and joy are the only moments worth counting.
I love babies.
I love ponies.
I love Jesus.
I love chocolate.
I love my husband.
I love organics.
I love life...kittens....butterscotch....

(not necessarily in that order)

And dude, I completely realize how hokey I sound. 
No--for real.

I realize that when you are a grown woman,
and you wear fairy wings in your garden,
that people think you have issues.
I realize that when all you really want to talk about
is love and patience and peace and joy--
that people think you are an idiot.
(Really, worse than that--
they think you are a self-absorbed, naive, ridiculous idiot)

But, I'm not.
I'm really and truly NOT an idiot:)

I am comfortable with who I am.
I am comfortable with my love of the whimsical and the childlike.
I am comfortable with the fact that I love my childrens toys
almost as much as they do (Etsy stuff is AWESOME).
I am comfortable with the fact that I will always be happy
wearing polka dots WITH stripes (Mother:).
I am comfortable with my beliefs
and my gratefulness for life and its blessings.

It is who I am. Candy fluff and all.

When reading the post  Kyle of Barley and Birch wrote for Amber the other day,
on how being eco-friendly was hardcore
(because all she basically does is work her butt off)
---it really hit home for me.
When you fight for what you believe in,
and stay true to your ideals---no matter how small,
YOU are making a difference.
You can change the world.
Just by being comfortable enough with yourself to say,
"this is how we do things".

And its all good.

Because being comfortable with who you are, is hardcore.

Mentoring Mondays: Im Your Dad

 Hey guys! Welcome to a new segment called Mentoring Mondays... I was talking to one of my best buds adam the other night... thinking about how he MUST do a Swinger Sunday for me since he is such a great writer... but that turned into more and next thing we knew we were planning a weekly segment on my wide open Monday... ALLL about Adam's journey through fatherhood. And who knows, maybe we will even get Aymee to share a week or two! I love you both SO much and little Maddie too...  thanks for sharing with my readers and I... even though we're so far away... it will be like we've been there all along... :) p.s. you can find his blog here... follow him :)

Mentoring Mondays 

Teaching you to be a lady while you teach me to be a dad.

I’m your dad.

              Hi Madeline.  You don’t know me.  Hell, you don’t even know your own name.  (BTW it’s Madeline.)  But I’m your dad and by rights, in four and a half months I’ll be one of the two biggest influences in your life.  While I may just be “daddy” to you, that title means I’ll be engaged in a 24/7 job of raising you and somehow having to make it look seamless and effortless.  Don’t get me wrong; I welcome the challenge and the most rewarding part will be watching you grow from a helpless baby into an intelligent and confident woman.

              There’s so many things I want to show you and tell you.  I suppose I have all of your life and the rest of mine to show and tell but let’s get two biggies up front.  These aren’t rules for you.  Those will come plenty soon enough.  Rather, these are constant variables.  Just like a science experiment.  I know you don’t know what science is yet but just bear with your old man for a sec.

Constant One:  I’ll always love you.

The unconditional love between a parent and their child is the most pure emotion in the world.  The reason why is that both parent and child start with clean slates towards each other.  I haven’t wronged you and, until your first loaded diaper, you haven’t wronged me.  And even the whole diaper thing isn’t really your fault.  I, along with your mother…and I suppose by proxy, the doctor, will be the first people you meet.  And essentially for your early years, I and your mother will be the only people you’ll know. I’ll feed you and read you books and make funny faces just to make you laugh.  I’ll rock you to sleep and sing you songs.  As you get bigger I’ll buy you a bike and teach you to ride it.  When you get even older I’ll teach you to drive.  As these events unfold, you’re bound to make mistakes.  And that’s okay, Maddie.  Everyone makes mistakes.  My job as a parent is to help you learn from them.  You’ll leave your bike out and I’ll tell you to bring it in.  And if you take after your mother’s driving habits, you’re probably going to get in a car accident or three and I’ll tell you to pay more attention.  And you’re likely to think ill of me during these moments but they only exist because I love you and know that you can learn from what happened.  Through it all, I’ll always love you and I’ll always be your dad.

Constant Two:  You can come to me for anything.

And when I say “anything,” I mean ANYTHING.  I will always listen to you.  While you’re a baby I’ll happily listen to you babble.  When you get older, feel free to come to me so we can converse about Big Bird or Yo Gabba Gabba or anything at all that your beautiful mind wants to talk about.  I’m always your ear.  Full disclosure: the secondary reasoning for this whole “come talk to me” stuff is for when you’re a teenager.  Things can get pretty hairy in your teens, and I’m not just talking about your body.  (Any excess body hair you might experience is all my fault.  Sorry kiddo.)  You and your friends/boyfriends/girlfriends are going to be turning into adults.  Your hormones and emotions will be going bat-shit and you’re going to often feel like a pinball bouncing around all corners of a pinball machine.  Sucky as it is, it’s all normal.  “What,” you ask?  “This is normal?!  This sucks!”  Yeah Maddie I know it sucks.  That’s why I’m here.  To help keep BS to a minimum and to help you stay your course.  And I’ll never ever tell you “Because I said so.”

Constant Three:  I’ll never ever say “Because I told you so!”

I mean, let’s face it.  It’s a weak come-back.  It says “I don’t have a good reason for saying ‘no.’ I just don’t want you to do whatever it is you‘re about to do.”  If I do or don’t want you to do something, I will always give you a valid reason why or why not.  This is so I can always treat you as someone who has the ability to make their own decision about something.  Now I may not always agree with your decision and may try to direct you to more harmonious endeavors, as I stated above, part of parenting is helping you learn from mistakes.  That said, I’m not going to let you play a game of Russian Roulette.  Why?  Not because I told you so.  Because I would’ve already told you that Russian Roulette is a very dangerous game where the best you can hope for is to still be alive afterwards and the worst that can happen is that you’ll share a death amongst all Arkansas rednecks; one that starts with the sentence “Hey y’all!  Watch this!”  Bottom line is:  I’ll always give you a reason for my decision.

Well Madeline, that about does it for your dad.  We have plenty of time to go over this stuff again and this isn’t a test.  This is your life.  I’m committed to seeing it be a great one.  I’ll always be here for you.  I haven’t even met you yet and you’re the love of my life.  I love you Maddie.

-Your Dad